Sunday, April 21, 2013

Memories of Grammar School

It wasn't a sharp stabbing pain
It was a pressure
In the middle of my chest
That became a throbbing pain
Radiating up my left carotid artery
And into my left shoulder

But now I have
Those stabbing pains
Some are soft little stabs
Like the girl with pigtails
At the next desk
Stabbing me with her pencil

She didn't break the skin
Or only a little
But it hurt nonetheless
And the girls at that age
Were often bigger than the boys
And even if they weren't

You weren't allowed to hit them
Although they hit me
And each other
And their brother
(I went to a rough grammar school)
But I digress

I'm feeling stress
Now that I've had my heart attack
I lack the courage to say "what the hell"
To the occasional stabbing pains
In my chest
Under the left rib

They scare me
And cause me pause
I make my breathing shallow
And I look for a place to sit
And wish it never happened
And wait for it to go away

But it never really goes away
It's always there
Under my ribs
Or in the middle
Of my back

And I take a deep breath
To check on it
See if the pain is still there
And just when I think it's gone
It hits me again
Like regret

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